Raising a natural born leader can be twice as hard. It takes awareness, unlearning of old beliefs and going against societal standards sometimes. But these children might be the ones to change the future one day, and the extra effort is oh so worth it! Continue reading to discover ways to support leadership qualities in children and ways you might unintentionally be hurting their innate desire to lead.
Have you ever met a child who was an innate leader? As a society, we’re not used to this concept and we might categorize these children as “bossy”. I think this subconscious desire to judge and label these children’s leadership qualities as something negative comes from societal programming, as well as our own insecurities as adults. A strong-willed child that questions you and that can be stubborn at times? Not very easy to deal with if you’re stuck in the idea that your authority over children shouldn’t be questioned just because you’re the adult. Supporting leadership qualities and helping children channel them in the right ways can help raise confident and determined adults who know the value of the team they lead and who might just change the world with their strong willed nature.
How to spot a natural born leader
Here are some ways you can identify an innate leader, whether it be your own child, or someone else’s:
- Charisma/Other children are drawn to them – Natural born leaders have this innate charisma to them. They’re good with people, they’re outgoing, they’re fun, they have all these ideas and are able to execute them with their peers. They can easily inspire and motivate others. Children who do not have these innate leadership qualities are drawn to them, feel their lack when they are not there and like being around them.
- Empathy/Emotional Intelligence – To be able to lead others, you need to understand them. Innate leaders have an easy time reading others’ emotions and have high emotional intelligence.
- Communication – They also tend to have great communication skills, are clear and assertive. They have an easier time advocating for themselves, expressing their emotions, needs and desires.
- Independence – Natural born leaders usually become self-sufficient at a younger age and like doing things on their own rather than asking for help.
- Innate inclination to take charge and influence others – And of course, innate leaders show desire to be in charge and lead others. They are usually confident, like problem-solving and taking initiative.
Why our society is in desperate need of good leaders
From an early age, whether it be at home or at school, we are taught to be obedient. Doing what you’re told and not questioning rules is thought to be a desirable quality to have in children. So we suppress innate leadership qualities to have easy going children who will not cause issues for the adults. But then these children grow up, they do what they’re told by their bosses without question, they dismiss their own innovative thoughts, they don’t drive change where change is needed and the world misses out on some great leaders.
There is an obvious lack of vision and direction in our society as a whole these days, that’s because of a lack of good leaders. Creating these good leaders starts from childhood.
Things you might be doing that are hurting your child’s leadership skills
Because this programming is so strong in many of us, we might not even realize how our actions might be hurting our child’s innate leadership qualities. Here are some things that might be doing exactly that:
- Too much supervision – The worst thing you can really do to your natural born leader is “helicopter parenting”. For children to become confident in themselves, they need to be allowed some freedom, allowed to take risks, take initiative and make decisions for themselves. So try to avoid “rescuing” them when difficult situations arise, rather guide them to being able to make a decision themselves. The security of knowing you are there for them is all they need.
- Not accepting your own mistakes – A leader has to be confident, but no one wants an overconfident leader who thinks they are always right. Children look up to the adults in their lives and often think they are perfect. Don’t be perfect! Show your flaws, own up to your mistakes, so that they know it’s okay to do so too!
Ways to help grow leadership qualities in natural born leaders
Nurturing innate leadership is not easy, but seeing our children thrive in things that come naturally to them is worth the effort. Here are some ways you can do so:
- Model what a good leader looks like – Children learn more from our actions than from our words, so be a good leader yourself! Model empathy and respect for those who follow you. Listen to the child’s opinions and take them into account. Inspire them rather than force them to do what they are told.
- Teach them what being a good leader means – Children are well, children, and they might sometimes think that being a leader means rushing in front of the group without looking back. Teach them that a leader is nothing without a team to lead. Teach them that good leaders look out for their team and are responsible for them.
- Give them responsibility and freedom – Let them practice their skills! Having a specific thing they are in charge of can be nice. Or just overall support of decision making, problem-solving, and execution of their creative ideas can go a long way!
Let’s change the narrative and hold our children’s innate desire to lead in reverence! Let’s let them challenge our authority at times, really hear them out, and maybe even accept that they are right. Let’s teach them respect, to value your team, and agreeing to disagree sometimes. Children are our future, and the future needs confident and compassionate leaders that will in fact question everything.
At The Wild School, we give children the freedom, support and guidance they need to become the best leaders they can be. We are child-led and play-focused and have seen children’s confidence grow through that alone exponentially. Sign up for a trial class and watch your child thrive in nature!
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by Viktorya Avetisyan